Artists are perhaps the worst types of friends to have because they care about their own entertainment the same way others care about their livelihood, their souls, or their well being in general. There is a problem with seeing people solely as entertainment, namely the fact that often times people can be quite broken emotionally because of un-dealt with conflicts and it can feel insensitive for someone to even insinuate that your sole value as a human being lies in your ability to see life as a stage. It can be exhausting. It was for me. Behind the artist is a human being, a child, a parent, a brother or sister, all seeking to be seen and validated. Invalidation is one of the cruelest forms of human punishment, and rather indicates a sadistic worldview.
So when they act like your breakup hurts them more than it hurts you, think. How could that possibly be? They see you as an extension of their entitled world where media, landscapes, journalism all serve only to fill their heads with ideas and inspiration. The stories in the news do not feel real because, jaded, they’ve numbed themselves. This is often the result of poor creativity and is an insufficient substitute for authentic creativity. Then they will project their lack of success and insecurity onto you when you ever offer to be supportive of their creative pursuits. “Why do you think I will be successful?” “What’s wrong with you?” “You’re dumb.” And so on.
Love to an artist is not the same as an ordinary romance. It is a carrying out of their artistic vision and part of how they want to be remembered. It is more than just an emotional and physical fulfillment. It is not a way to get closer to God or understanding the soul. It’s a backdrop to which they can set their creatively structured careers, sexuality, political views, etcetera. They will punish and shame those who refuse to conform to their often myopic and limited worldview. They will utilize manipulation tactics to make it feel as though you have to be with them, and the only option is a social death, which is false.
It is not love because it is not selfless. It seeks for its own gain, not the betterment and release of the other. The way Christ loved us should be an example to measure our love by: selfless, freeing, and complete.
Erika
