Insta-Grow

"Seen one country field, seen 'em all."

I think this but I know:

it isn't entirely true.

I only feel that when certain songs play 
I am reminded of you 
even though there was no love, 
just strangeness and awkwardness 
all so small in comparison to 
my life and probably yours

Everything is an assumption with you

Everything was pretend

Thats why I throw memories 

of you away 

even when

I hear those tracks, even when

The devil himself picks at 
the guitar strings so melodically
I fall into a trance

Even that couldn't hypnotize 
me into your being, 
again and ever

You admitted to being small:

You self deprecated when it was 
convenient and disappeared, then blamed me

You were so small,

You eventually evaporated, ethereally

Ether--really.

Seen one country field, country road, country bumpkin, seen em all? 

Flora and fauna do vary. 
Placement and landscapes do change. 
Soundtracks, birds, railroads, or--close up, 
the chewing of the cud of the well-fed cow--
shift with the landscape of time and age and 
I was so young even though 
I was certain I was grown, but

I just don't know what part i played in it.

While you were there, i just don't know where

I went.

And my request has been granted

Even if your lack of senses prevented it

To please please just

Give me back my songs.

Which is why you walk freely and tall

And not under any torment my 
once-confused and -bitter heart 

once-wished 

upon 

you.


And what other details do you need?

:

A she can destroy
Another she.

. . . . .

Erika