I still hold that public displays of affection are best handled in moderation. Seriously! This could be lots of expensive education talking. I’m pretty sure any etiquette book would agree that overt and over sexualized talk or behavior among friends or family is neither appropriate nor attractive, (nor perhaps even healthy?) and if in a situation where this happens, I would say use your best abilities to distract your gaze and avert the subject altogether! Often times, a well-placed pause+ignore+pause for the next topic sends a clear message that one is not interested in commenting or acknowledging the display. Cheers, mate. Best of luck. Here are exceptions I can foresee: anniversaries or other special, but mostly private occasions. Hand holding: sweet. Pats on the back or arms around the shoulders: affectionate, sweet. Kissing over the dinner table: I’m eating, and I am assuming you don’t want my vomit to accompany your barbecue beef on your plate. Use discretion.
New York and SoCal taught me: less is most definitely more. Humans have feelings and sensitivities; in the interest of maintaining relationships, try to be aware of them and not transgress so many at once. Aren’t we all trying? We should be all trying. Opposite problem: people attacking each other or confessing to attacking each other; you know, couples. Are you kidding? C.F.H. Cry for help. Try to remember the importance of first impressions. Please people, let your children come out of the closet themselves, unless attention-starved, in which case, quickly revert to introspection about your own sexuality and those implications. What else can be said? I think Jack Johnson said it best when he sang, “Slow down, everyone, you’re movin’ too fast. Frames can’t catch you when you’re movin’ like that.” Give people time to grow and figure themselves out. I can tell you I knew a lot of young women who were “gay” and who now aren’t as time progressed. Who knew? Some knew they weren’t, and others were just along for the ride called life. Others were, others were somewhere in the middle (everything in safety and moderation!) others were trans-identified in some way. It most definitely depends on the person and their surrounding influences. Try to be open minded, but not bullish in your politics, or you’ll trap someone in an identity they never had a say in. And most of life is choice. Plenty of scholarly articles support this theory. Find and let others find their authentic selves.
Frankie says: Relax; life is a journey, and we’re all on it together. Be kind to your brother and your sister and yes even your in-laws because it’s all gone in a heartbeat (or several).
Take a CPR class. Learn how to save a life.
Make art. Learn how to save yourself.
Pray. Learn how to save your soul.
All of it counts and all of it is important. Be mindful and it won’t all be in vain. In the end if you’re lucky, it’ll all look like a sweet poem on a warm summer evening.
I want to earn the “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt” on my tombstone. I think I’m doing a pretty great job so far! How about you?
I’m going to meet my beautiful new niece in two weeks. Are there any new babies in your world?
Erika @ Hz
