I have heard at least two (2) people scream rallying cries about the issue of “one’s business.” Granted, neither of these people could claim to be knowledgeable enough as to use “one” versus “their” or “your.” But the thought, and the intention behind the thought, remains the same. I feel that more people than I care to count who I’ve met in recent years can claim to be influenced by a childhood in which they were told it was or wasn’t their place to say something, perhaps because they were a child, or, perhaps, because they were female. Oh, how off their upbringing was. And how off they are to think that they can continue to use their upbringing as an excuse for their present behavior. People can be wonderful—but also, terrible. The worst of it is the ego-filled, entitlement-filled, megalomaniacal sprees connected with Facebook accounts, Instagram accounts, various online communities. And then watching that extend into real life interactions. I’m talking to you.
Let me ask you something, have you been to a party recently where someone brought in their formerly convicted relatives who put that fact about themself on the table when you first met? Because I did. He wasn’t looking for a lawyer who’d been educated in the socratic method, either. He was looking for a punching bag. My husband and I were the unassuming victims, and thought there was no inappropriate physical contact, I can honestly say some boundaries were transgressed. I had my breasts referred to, I was told it was my place to submit to my husband and to
let him “run the show”—but of course, this was all said jokingly. The n bomb was dropped with no regard for my own heritage, or the many black relatives that have married into our family. I cannot even hope that maybe they will read this post and repent—they are not exactly on my list of targeted readership.
I believe in equality. That’s why I know I’m a feminist. Not the kind that says they’re a feminist because they want to enable crappy behavior in herself and others, or because she wants to see God’s green earth dirtied with and disappearing under morally reprehensible people. But because I think as a woman I have a right to be a human being. I will not abandon my gender for the state of the world. I will not test society’s patience (purposefully), and cry “But I’m a woman! Gimme!” Because that’s not what it’s at all about. I have a right to exist, to be free, to be brave, and to have everything that it’s possible for an individual to have in this life, not limited to respect, liberty, and not to be seen for
my Goddamn body parts. If I had $10 for every time a woman was being talked about, insulted, oppressed, made to feel less than, told she was good but still just a girl, shut up, interrupted, or made to feel invisible, I’d have a thousand dollars, just in my personal life alone! Thank you, Texas. Thank you, modern world!
Now. Dear Texas, please wake up. I love you dearly. But the past six years have been WORK. And I ain’t being paid overtime. So saddle up your mind and get ready cause you’re going for a ride on the wild side.
Erika
